Fear

That feeling in the pit of our stomachs that tells us that life will be irrevocably and negatively changed forever.


Here’s a secret…it’s a lie!

Fear is a survival instinct that has been inside us before we could walk upright. It protected us from being killed and served for dinner. In this current world we live in, it can protect us, but more often than not it stops us from going after the things we want.

When we are born, our fear is minimal. Then the first time we are left without our parents a fear of abandonment arrives. When children tease us at school, we may start believing we are not good enough or that we are ugly. Following that each situation where we do not get what we initially need or want creates more and more fear until we are one big ball of jelly crying on the floor.

We become afraid to ask out that Beauty we have had our eyes on for so long. Just do it. The worst they can say is NO…but wait, oh no, REJECTION!! That’s enough to send anyone screaming. But alas, “NO” is just a word. It is not a steel-tipped dagger. It may hurt in that moment, but we will forever be thankful that we tried, that we put the effort into getting what we want. And surprisingly, our Beauty may say YES. Learn to live without regret!

Other people create fear through intimidation. If they seem scary enough, we will be frightened of them, never question their motives and do exactly what they say. This is the script that most bullies and abusers use. Sadly, they are either crazy or even more scared than we are.

We can be afraid to hurt ourselves maybe by falling down, breaking an arm. Maybe we’re afraid that we’ll hurt someone else with our words, or if they knew the truth about us…that one we hold inside where we are convinced we are not good enough. Which really, is just more fear, we are good enough!!

As individuals we need to get our fear under control. How does this happen? By recognizing fear for what it is. When wanting to do or say something causes us to instead stand there with our hands in our pockets staring at the floor. When seeing it in the choices and actions of everyday life we are one step closer to combating it.

I learned a quote almost a decade ago “feel the fear, then go out and do it anyway”. It is just as potent today as it was then. I myself was terrified of my own shadow and made choices that allowed me to never take a chance. I read that quote and started taking chances. I started living, achieving and appreciating life for the first time.

Things will happen to set us back. People die, the Beauty may say no, we may come face to face with a bully or an abuser and people will undoubtedly criticize us at some point, but we must hold our heads high. Be determined to stop fear in its tracks. Look it in the eye and tell it that we will not, under any circumstances, allow it to control our lives, our happiness. Ensure that it has a proper place, we must tell Fear that we will talk to it the next time we’re being chased by a pack of hungry lions but until that time…GO AWAY!