Alone Time

Some people crave alone time.  Some fear it.

The people who crave alone time are, as I see it, the ones who feel a need to take a step back from all that goes on in their life, recharge, think the day or week through, work on their own inner turmoil (for lack of a better word), find solutions, maybe talk themselves into fighting through the next week.  Those who fear it, well, I truly believe that they are afraid to have this inner conversation, afraid to see themselves and their mistakes.

Taking a moment, an hour, even 15 minutes to evaluate yourself, your choices and your thoughts in the past week is incredibly important when trying to enlighten yourself, understand what makes you tick, learn why you make the choices you do.  This inner reflection only helps you grow as a human being.  Without making this a part of who you are, I believe you lose a larger part of yourself.

Sure, ignorance is bliss but isn't it better to sit back and contemplate why you are where you are, what choices brought you to this place and maybe which choices were not the brightest this time around so that you can make smarter ones next time?  Absolutely.  Without some type of inner discussion with yourself you are pretty much flying by the seat of your pants straight into a brick wall.

This self-discussion can be done while your honey is sitting in their favourite chair, watching their favourite show but when you suddenly realize that you did something completely and utterly moronic, I think it would be better they not be there when you jump from your seat yelling "My God you're stupid!" at yourself.

Sometimes we don't get enough alone time and that can cause other issues.  While we're stressed about the daily things in life, maintaining our other obligations like soccer, hockey, and book clubs our alone time steadily decreases.  Its hard to have an inner discussion while the kids are screaming at you, your spouse is asking where dinner is and the dog is begging for a walk.  A few of us can take time to have a bubble bath, or think things through on a treadmill at the gym.  Personally, I much prefer a nice sandy beach, sunshine and the waves at my side in order to have a tough discussion with myself but what happens when the nice weather goes away?

Having a plan, maybe discussing it with your partner, letting them know just how important it is to you may work.  However sometimes it isn't important to them and they fail to understand your deep desire to have an hour to yourself 3 times a week.  If this is the case, I have a solution.

Tell them you have to walk the dog.  Even if you don't have one.  Just say "I'll be back in 20 minutes" and leave the house.  Don't take your cell phone.  Walk straight out the door, let them deal with the kids and the critters.  Let them worry about all the hectic stuff going on in that moment.  Keep walking but breathe.  Inhale, exhale and talk to yourself.  Make sure you are still happy and if not find a solution.  Sometimes the best partnership you can have is the one with yourself.  The one where you agree with yourself to fix whats wrong and find a way to find that thing it is your soul is craving.